Suicide E-Learning Tool

Suicide Matters

Gummt Position on Bloke Suicide

After the detection of Pork Barrelling at MensLine and after the removal of Ms Patterson as Minister there needed to be a face saving exercise to "restore" MensLine back to health as if there were no snouts in the trough to start with and no piggies fuelling up.

So it was no surprise they picked on that all time favourite of the so called men's groups, "the Gummt should do more to prevent 3 CSA blokes a day committing suicide". So we got the brand new Suicide E-Learning Tool at MensLine.

Now it seems there are some major concerns about this Tool. Firstly it costs $595 and secondly it is only a "search & destroy" deal where it enables the user to FIND the potential victim. It is not clear where it goes from there but one would assume it points the victim to CSA who then "terminate with extreme prejudice"

That explanation would dovetail into the Gummt policy, albeit that the policy is unofficial because it is horrific, but to get a quick grab of it here is the text of our earlier Rodent Report:

PRESS RELEASE 19 Sept 2002 - Howard sends CSA to Iraq

In a confidential interview with the Divorce Doctor this morning John Howard revealed, on his morning walk, that he was sending specially selected COATs from the CSA to Iraq to take out Sadam. Howard explained "essentially CSA is a highly trained counter intelligence team, ...errr that means when they speak with intelligent people ... errrr that is, victims, they counter the intelligence with babble, thus forcing the victim into Self Promoted Lack of Living"

"Is that suicide?"

"Errr we prefer to call it SPLOL, these people took out 1,000 dead-beat dads this last year alone, saving us 10 million on the dole, plus another 10 million from their estates as arrears"

"But how will that work on Sadam?"

"Easy, the dads were all more intelligent than Sadam so he will be chicken feed - they'll babble him to death on grounds 1 to 9"

"But do you have White House and UN approval"

"..... Errr don't need it. These COATs don't have any authority to SPLOL dads in Australia either, they just thought it up and did it - what balls!"

"And about Costello for PM ......."

"Well as Mark Lathan suggested, with Sadam under my belt Bush will be licking MY arse - so I could go on forever, even take over the world - can't you keep up with the walk?"

"Thank you Mr Howard (puff!)"

The Problem

As seen the problem was that in 2001 we had "de-spun" a CSA spin report called Facts & Figures to revel that the average amount of child support paid in 2001 per child was less than HALF that before the CSScheme. So called Mens Groups liked our analysis so much they sold it to PIR who plagiarised it [soon to be sued in a court near to you] but all that nasty stuff aside, the Gummt had two options.

It could simply axe the CSScheme, meaning there would be a seamless transition back to the backup [Part VII of the FLAct] the Parliament so carefully crafted back in 1987, fully expecting the CSScheme WOULD be a dud. Or secondly it could "call in the Special Forces [Air Strike]". It did the latter by throwing millions at even more lawyers to moonlight at CSA, not as COATs this time but as The Enforcement Squad.

Retribution was fast and gory with The Squad divided into those who prepared those good old Order 33 Enforcement Summonses for the state magistrate courts, and those who "liaised" with the superannuation companies for those who had SPLOLed [or could be convinced to SPLOL]. The new MensLine suicide Pak is a means to better identify those who might be induced to SPLOL.

So the COMBINED team works as a well oiled unit, a bit like the way Hitler had his own extermination system set up. The COATs Deem & Destroy to create the Phantom Debt [which attracts penalties] as well as a HUGE ongoing liability and bingo the bloke is in a downward spiral and if he SPLOLs, The Squad moves in to take the Phantom Debt from the dead bloke's super/estate, much like Hitler removed gold teeth from his victims.

But you are saying "at least the kiddies get child support" - WRONG - read my lips, I said these are lawyers, blood sucking lawyers so the fee is elastic. This says whatever the phantom debt [average is about $40,000] then THAT is the fee for the lawyer to "extract" it from bloke's estate.

BlokesLine Tool

The most immediate good news about OUR tool is it is not $595, not $495, not $395, not $295, not $195, not $95, but it is FREE


The BlokesLine Tool is not only a DETECTION tool but is also a SOLUTION tool - and it is fully KISS Compliant. You may well ask what is KISS Compliant? Well in her last letter to us before she got the chop, Ms Patterson said it was not pork barrelling to throw MensLine overboard to her Victorian shrink mates because it "complies with our Quality System". Well now my memory says QS was the warm up fraud for the big daddy of Y2K, which got 100 billion for the I.T. Industry. It is worrying if the Australian Gummt is still holding on to such a fraudulent dinosaur, last seen circa 1998 as Y2K took over the drain of the public purse.

KISS Compliant replaces all that with the Keep It Simple Stupid principle [which simply states "Keep It Simple Stupid"] - anyway here is the Tool

The Detection

In truth the detection part is simply a "me-too" feature because if you are a bloke out there who is active in helping other blokes in family law and CSA stuff, then you are SURROUNDED by potential suicide victims - correct?? Like the last thing you need it to go out looking for more victims, but if for some perverse reason you need to do so then just stand outside your local CSA office and they will explode in front of your face, on a per minute basis.

The Solution

The KISS Solution says to simply explain to the bloke to stop being a Kath & Kim SNAG and do the Solution Three Step

  1. Stop spinning - Put your stake in the ground
  2. Turn around
  3. Kick arse

The essence of this suicide prevention solution is to Stop The Rot. Once you make that one seemingly small step [for mankind and yourself] the whole world opens up and you feel so bloody good all thoughts of SPLOL are out the window. To go on and fully kick arse for the bloke will depend on how "good" you are as his adviser but for sure the "stake in ground" IS the turning point

The most critical element of this stake in ground step is never ever ever ever ever ever TALK to the CSA. As you see from the Rodent interview these people ARE trained in terrorist techniques and every "toxic masculinity" [as Ms Patterson called it] blurt by you on the phone is simply another nail in your own coffin.

KISS says 90% of what CSA does is illegal, SO compare what CSA DID to what the CSActs SAY and that is the long and the short [mainly short] of your path to victory on the Yellow Brick Road, for the victims in your care that is.

For sure your main attack will be on the COAT because there is absolutely no Head of Power under Part 6A to do anything but give an ADVISORY determination of how you might fare in court. Just read the CSAAct and what the High Court said and you and your ex SPLOL candidate are well on the arse kicking road.

Hope you like the tool.